Beltway Barbie Goes to the Movies
Don't be mad—life is too beautiful.
Once upon a time, I was obsessed with the movie theatre experience. I still have old journals with ticket stubs glued to pages where I gushed about the most recent film I had seen on the big screen. Especially when theatres switched to recliners and started letting you order full meals and booze—what a time to be alive!
That has changed in the last several years though, without my realizing it. Until this weekend I think the last movie I saw at the cinema was Christopher Nolan’s Tenent and that was so physically painful because of the oppressive volume level, so I have opted to skip the atomic bomb version of that experience (though I’ll certainly be seeing Oppenheimer when it hits the streaming world).
Movie tickets are also much more expensive than they were years ago, and since they jump from the theatre to the home TV so quickly, it’s harder to argue that the cost is worth it. Finally, I live alone in D.C., I’m an introvert with a fair bit of social anxiety, so even asking someone to go see a movie with me feels like a significant challenge (and the extroverted, 14-year-old Bekah mocks me endlessly for this crippling condition). So, on a random impulse, I took myself out yesterday for a solo date to see Barbie.
Slight disclaimer: Of all the movies to coax me back to a theatre, I really wasn’t expecting it to be Barbie. It definitely seemed like a fun-night-in kind of film and not one that required the benefit of the big screen. And in fact, it wasn’t the movie itself that got me to put on real clothes on a Saturday and venture into public—it was the unbelievable outrage I started to hear from a certain faction of the very online world. They made me too curious to wait to stream it. So, I guess Warner Bros. can thank them for the business.
One more disclaimer: There will be some light spoilers ahead.
First things first: This movie is lovely.
For a very quick background, I did not have a lot of Barbies growing up. I got the mermaid whose hair changed color in hot or cold water which was magical, and then after the USWNST won the World Cup in 1999 (I was 9) I got the Mia Hamm Barbie, complete with soccer ball and a button that would allow the leg to kick it. Those are the only two legit Barbies I remember owning, but I played with just about every other one over a decade of sleepovers.
That anyone is not just indifferent but in fact angry, seething, fuming over this movie is simply performance art. The worst honest reaction that someone could have is, “I’m not the intended audience for this one.” Honestly, we all—myself definitely included—could do well to have that reaction to far more things from movies to music to performative video reviews.
But speaking of intended audiences, that’s the first thing I have been confused about from the outrage mob. This movie was never (as far as I ever saw) intended to be a kids’ movie. I never once thought this was a “kid-friendly” movie from the marketing—if I did, I wouldn’t have paid any attention to it at all as I don’t have children and unless it’s Pixar, I’m probably not going to rush to see the most recent kiddo phenomenon. From the very first commercial, this was clearly marketed with heavy nostalgia to the generations who grew up playing with Barbies as a significant pastime. Some might still experience something like that in childhood, but the vast majority of children growing up right now will never have the relationship with Barbie that children of the 80s and 90s had. They aren’t watching Saturday Morning Cartoons with 30 minutes of every hour taken up by advertisements for the latest Super Soaker or Barbie Dream House. In fact, Barbie is much more than a doll to today’s kids as there have been 40 animated Barbie movies explicitly made for children (many of which I have seen, and they’re pretty decent).
When we millennials were making our way to adulthood, Barbie was the most iconic and prolific toy in our world; more than Slinky Dogs, more than Hacky Sacks and Yo-Yos, more than Tamagotchis, more than possessed Furbies.
This movie was made for us. But, like any movie, there are things in it that anyone can enjoy. And even with a PG-13 rating (further proof this was never meant for kids), it’s quite innocent all things considered with most “adult” content being innuendo similar to what can be found in many movies intended for children (like Shrek). There are no depictions of sex, no violence that isn’t intended to be entirely humorous, and the angry reviews I have watched pieces of have used worse language than you will hear in this lovely film.
I’m not going to go on for long and debunk what obnoxious podcasters came up with to be angry about as I am confident they’re being disingenuous, and I’d rather just get to the things that I really loved. I will though say that if you are someone who wants to shelter yourself and your children from even hearing mention of the word “patriarchy” or “feminism” and if you think any conversation about the standards of our society or the anxiety of your life not having meaning or purpose is “woke” or worse, then sure, this movie isn’t for you. But also, why? That’s silly and you’re shutting yourself off from growth, meaningful conversations, and making this world a better place. You should be part of that. You have things to offer.
Okay, here are my three favorite things about Barbie (and this is where the spoilers begin):
The mother-daughter relationship between Gloria and Sasha.
For all the outrage about this not being for kids, I love this movie for pre-teens and teens to see with their moms. This is the first mother-daughter relationship I’ve seen in a long time that has conflict and dissonance, but it’s not caused by one of the characters being clearly cruel or in the wrong. Parent-child relationships aren’t either good or bad—healthy or unhealthy. The transition between kid and young adult is tough and I imagine the transition from mom of a kid to mom of a young adult is equally challenging. I love my mom so much and we have always had a close relationship, but I remember ebbs and flows when she just didn’t get me and I didn’t get her. Those same journals I mentioned before certainly have plenty of pages filled with me wondering why my parents couldn’t understand how hard my life was. And yet, there was always love on both sides of that relationship, and we see that with Gloria and Sasha, too. Gloria (played by the perfectly-cast America Ferrera) is going through something so relatable to the intended audience, many of whom are mothers in their 30s and 40s. Her daughter no longer likes to play with the things that they once bonded over, and she is finding more independence. That leaves this working mom to daydream about what comes next and have a “who am I” moment—seriously, who hasn’t had four or five of those by the time they’re raising a teen? I think this whole relationship was written beautifully and it made me want to fly to Texas to hug my momma and ask her if she wanted to play on the floor like we used to three decades ago.Ken. Because he is Kenough.
If you’re insisting on hating this movie and everything that it inspires, I’m sorry to say that you’re going to have to endure the Kendom that is coming. Ryan Gosling without question is the brightest shining star of this film (which is in itself so hilariously ironic), but it is not just his impeccable performance that made me love Ken. This movie is certainly adding to the conversations of how women are valued and the impossible standards we as a society have set for women, but it’s doing the same thing for men. I’m a feminist who can also recognize that we are expecting more from young men and yet not providing them the tools to be successful. In Barbieland, Ken’s entire value and happiness are tied to Barbie. He only has a good day if she acknowledges him and his life is meaningless without her. This is a perfect mirror image of how women have felt for decades—or rather centuries—and how some still feel, although we are getting much better in this area. I felt that way for years. As I blew past my late teens and entered my early 20s without so much as a date, I felt the dread and fear of not being good enough, not being special enough, and not being lovable enough for anyone to want to be my partner for life. And while I went on adventures and built a career and had examples of being successful, every night as I climbed into bed alone I would be met with dark and heavy thoughts: Will anyone ever love me? Will I ever not be alone? If no one ever wants to be with me, will everyone think there is something wrong with me? What is the point of any of this life if someone doesn’t want to spend it with me?
After my sixth time being a bridesmaid and not a bride, I stopped asking those questions and assumed I had gotten something really wrong somehow and this was my lot. Fearing my value rapidly depreciating and without much self-esteem to speak of, I hid an abusive relationship for years; because sure, I had no agency and had to hide bruises and a recurrent broken heart and I oftentimes thought about how much easier it would be to not exist… but he also said he loved me, and showed it really well sometimes, and no one else was showing much interest in doing it any better. (This paragraph is darker than anything you’ll see in Barbie, just to be clear.)
Instead of flipping the script and having men feel meaningless without a woman, this movie ends with the beautiful message that each of us—men and women alike—deserve to get to know ourselves and pursue the things that bring our life meaning. Barbie the toy had young girls imagining a future as a veterinarian or an astronaut or a soccer player, in many cases for the first time. Barbie the movie ends with the Barbies and Kens proclaiming what they want for their lives—including a Ken who says he really does want to be with his Barbie, and she is right there agreeing with him. The message is not to abandon relationships, love, or family in pursuit of a career, it’s that all of the nuances of all of those decisions are unique to each individual, and we shouldn’t have rigid expectations for anyone, regardless of gender.
Lastly, Ken is amazing because he shows how men are also harmed and limited by patriarchy. He comes to the real world and is immediately thrilled to find out that men are generally on top, in stark contrast to what he is used to. He is treated with respect and given glimpses of how easy this could all be, but when he tries to be successful immediately, he falls pretty hard. He decides to just “take patriarchy back to Barbieland” and once he does, his problems aren’t all solved. He still doesn’t have a sense of his own identity, and very quickly all the Kens are fighting each other for the highest place in this new hierarchical system. The clear message (to those who want to digest this film honestly) is that any system that elevates one gender (or race or orientation or people group) over all others is setting everyone within it up for failure. We are all so much more than simply man or woman, and discovering yourself and your full potential is a joy that can only come when you break out of others’ expectations for yourself and embrace your individual journey in life.Ordinary is extraordinary.
The protagonist is obviously Barbie, but more specifically, Margot Robbie’s character is “Stereotypical Barbie.” If you hear the word “Barbie” she is the image that is most likely to come into your head—and that’s her job: to be perfectly pretty, perfectly happy, and to never have cellulite or worries about death or heels that touch the ground. When all three of those things happen to Barbie, she feels imperfect and even ugly and doesn’t know what the point of her even is anymore. Now to every human, this is still an incredibly gorgeous woman nearly unchanged from a few scenes back. But that’s the point. No matter how pretty or happy or successful someone appears, we all know that every person goes through tragedies and worries and things we wish we could change about ourselves. And yet we also know those things that make us unique and build our character are part of what makes us beautiful.
Gloria finds the courage to speak up with an idea for “Ordinary Barbie” who is a career woman and a mom, or a mom and that’s enough, or maybe has a career and isn’t a mom yet, or so many other combinations. (I was struck by how many options she included that celebrated motherhood considering what I was hearing from the performative podcasters.) It’s a powerful moment because every woman watching can say, “Hey, that’s me!”
Lastly, Barbie is following her heart and talking to the creator of Barbie, Ruth Handler, about becoming a human. Before encouraging her to go for it, Ruth reminds Barbie that humans aren’t happy every day and that their lives have to end. Ruth then shows Barbie a montage of real human experiences—real women. This montage is made up of home videos from the cast and crew of the film and shows women—mothers, daughters, grandmas, aunts, sisters, friends—having ordinary, day-to-day experiences from early childhood to old age. This was the final time my eyes filled with tears in this film. After watching over an hour of the most colorful and vibrant movie I can remember seeing, this montage looks fairly dull and washed out—and yet I cried because it was the most beautiful moment of the entire film. Because life is beautiful. Ordinary life is full of more magic and color and meaning and joy than even the most perfect Barbie world anyone could think up. Barbie clearly agreed with me because as the montage ended she had only one word to say.
“Yes.”
When given the chance to remain a Barbie girl in a fantastic, plastic Barbie world, she saw real life with all the ups and downs and highs and lows and chose to become a human. It’s extraordinary.
This is the last thing I have to say. We are all going through this messy world and, for the most part, we’re all doing the best we can. There is too much for one person to know for themselves, so we all find other people to help inform us along the way, whether those are friends and family members or people who talk on the internet (I certainly have plenty of the latter and appreciate what they offer). I would simply ask anyone to realize that people who make their money off of clicks and likes and views and shares have an ENORMOUS financial incentive to discuss the things that are going to be trending and they absolutely know that outrage and sensationalism will get them more eyes and ears and interactions that will feed the algorithm and bring in the cash. Watch Barbie or don’t watch Barbie. It won’t affect me at all either way and it is your choice to make—but consider the honest reviews of your friends and family and other real people over those who need you to be angry before you write this one off. No matter your political leanings or anything else you may have in common with one or another member of the outrage machine, in the end, they don’t know you. They don’t see you. You aren’t their mother, daughter, grandma, aunt, sister, friend—in fact to them, you’re all just Stereotypical Barbie. They need you to do exactly what they expect you to do and nothing else.
But they’re wrong. You’re ordinary Barbie. And like all the rest of us, you are a one-of-kind, limited edition. Don’t forget that.